love, then dinner for one...

smaller spider to the left in pic, i believe is the male widow. he's totally trying to get it on, despite chances of survival being VERY slim after said mating... oh men and their need to sire.... nature is so complex... even the nature right under our feet. maybe she eats him after mating, because as every newish mother i know has said- you might as well just do it yourself, for all the help your man gives you in the first six months..... that made me crack up. not so much the new mothers... and of course, i know wonderful new dads as well....

stuff the night is made of...

(turn music player off on side of page, before playing any video...simple solution)

maybe this explains the spider thing... because they're bloody everywhere. upstate NY ones were chunky round, harmless tho intimidating things, not dangerous just robust...
tho i must admit to being held hostage by water bug in a loo at age 7 during E 11th st NYC block party... out here in LA they call them palmettos bugs.. a giant flying hissing roach by any other name is still vile... and regular city roaches... crawling cross me while i tried to sleep, yuck- roaches will always remind me of my E. 10th street childhood...
my stepmother used to say seek and ye shall find, re bugs etc... it's not like she was wrong....but i wasn't seeking... i think they seek me...

spiders have always fascinated/repelled me... the 1st weavers of the world really, that's why i like shooting their pics.... so beautiful and fill of myth, but this lot is so very dangerous for friends kids who come and wanna play innagaddadavita.... don't wanna kil them but faced w/ infestation... so much nicer when we coexisted w/ nature more gracefully..... i hate killing things... my land is not a killing zone... or is it? sigh.
ps song is Bela Fleck 2 prt invention num 13.

haterade w/ a side of defamation of character, please.

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "ohhh, this too too solid flesh...":

geese, this doesn't surprise me at all about you. Had to put a half naked picture up to get blog hits. Heard you was a freak anyway, can't keep a man, plus a severe weed head, and a chain smoker and you borrow hell of money from mad people for coke. What was it $700.00 in Mexico? Going around talking about other people when the people you think are your friends are talking shit about you. Not judging you, just letting you know. You are waaaaaayyyyy to old for the foolishness. Hollywood got you fucked up girl big time. Hope you can find somebody not jaded & turned out to help you get it together because your shit stinks.

sorry you feel that way anonymous...perhaps you should go into fiction writing w/ your imaginative prose.... 'chain smoking, coke/ weed head...' - ah, yes, clearly it's living that sort of life that's keep me working as an actor and looking just fine... your projections of/on me are silly.
... if YOU have drug problems, i urge you to get help for what seems to be a serious problem. i didn't allow your comment to be published under blog, felt this misguided behaviour needed to be addressed out in the open.....
if anything, evokes such a visceral reaction in you, it's your own head you should dig into... why does something push your buttons so.....
it's time to grow... i would urge anyone in a funky victemy space... to.... go long or go home.... delve into what's really going on w/ yourself, and you'll flourish...

so, in summation- if you don't like me, don't visit my blog or follow me on twitter/ fb. it's as simple as that. to the rest of you lovely people, thanks for your comments and for checking in...

flat iron this, beyotch.

to get to point A➜ ?, I've gone Q -W-H to get to B & continue to travel the unknown universe. sometimes w/ a flatiron. beyotch.

ok translation cause i get a lot of 'what you talking about? i have no idea, you are so random comments....
(back story) i put up a pic on twitter of myself w/ straight, and the consensus was curly by a mile.... almost became a don't abandon your naturalness, sister debate....

MY reality as an actor is to play characters...not myself. Hollywood deems straightened hair as more educated, a lawyer, wife etc...
Shirely Temple curls do not always have desired effect, & having the same do since i was 5... natural curls are not, can be (great, but) monotonous.

it's the chess moves we all have to make, to work w/in, w/o the systems and conventions of our chosen field, it's a delicate war balance to be an artist, who makes a living...while maintaining sanity....you also have to be a business person, so you may have to bend or sway.. but never break!

sometimes i needs me some alone time....

I'm good at picking up and putting scraps of things together...sometimes pieces of energy together... it can be draining...it's the best high you've ever known... yet, it can go either way...
this precious life force we've been gifted, always full of deligh, surprise and challenging but needed change...when this pic was taken, i knew something was afoot and not quite right in my life, so i curled up like the Cheshire cat, disappeared... and when the dust settled..the changes changed...i saw clearly again... and smiled a Cheshire cat smile... or a phoenix song....

then after that, I put on these shoes and kicked some ass- oh wait, i can't really walk in stilettos, curses foiled again! so i wore my jackson 5/geoge clinton boots instead. but i covet these glorious example of a foot tortured into position not correct for human anatomy w/ the ability to hurt back.. that's art to me.

the sounds of silence...

gotten plenty of messages re my perceived silence and M.J.-never assume, and try not to project.
- i have my own brother who passed less than a year ago to still process. i believe as sad as it is when a soul moves on it, its life force goes on... it is the people left behind who suffer....
i think M.J. and my own brother Roc Wolfgang Reeder are surfing silver waves of galaxy w/ a freedom they never had in their earthly personalities. i have addressed this in earlier blog btw...
and on that note-
"and the sign said, "the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls And tenement halls" and whispered in the sounds of silence...'-S&G

'say goodbye to hollywood', and my blog email..

Vegas wax tiger woods gives no love...

well no, actually say hello to hollywood is n=more apt, but that titles an old billy joel song that a sitar playing weirdo stepdad i had would play when i was a kid...

which reminds me of a night in NYC, I was on my way to newish boyfriends house party.... hadn't been to his flat before & had left apt # home... per usual... pre cell phones for masses.. any way.. i stood in a 5th ave upscale hallway (had remembered correct floor), like Alice in wonderland-

door A- sounded like a huge mass of people all singing w/ boston accents to that billy joel song 'well, we will all go down together, steel mill /war' song with an amazing amount of commitment and sadness....
i'm not gonna lie... it scared me... i was like wow, i really misjudged this dudes idea of what a fun new years party might entail

door B- blasting Nirvana w/ usualy party ruckous... guessed correct and rang in oh...92 i think...
glad bands like Mr big were fading, grunge was in swing, and billy joel had been left in my childhood long ago.

also, i've gotten rid the blogspot email. Put a comments bar down on very bottom of main blog page where you can comment on entire site, or ask any questions...and i can comment back. love it if you'd recommend there sites you like, or find edifying.... xx true

ps i really do think vegas attracts a low level vibration of person.... to quote s. king again-
'the ground is sour'.. i wish more Americans would really travel... abroad... and not accept 'the Paris' casino as a substitute for the real deal....

i will now think of the sunsets on Fira, Santorini, greece, and how nothing in Vegas can touch that image sealed in my soul...
btw-had 1 drink and spent a whooping 5 bucks in slots in 4 days... yes i do feel pretty smug about that, i'm convinved i shall not be back unless another friend is honoured... and then only maybe.
soooooooo glad to be home if only for moment.....x true

infinity in wax

so many things in the last few days... have rippled the vibration of the planet.... what's next?
well Vegas for me for one thing... i kind of not so secretly hate Las Vegas..en masse it attracts a certain type of base level human roach is best way i can describe my vibe on it... a friends being honored w/ a wax statue, so a) i know it'll be air conditioned and b) i abhor gambling... i'll waste money on clothes etc, least you get to upwrap it, let down or no... more often than not, gamblers look so sad to me...
snippet overheard last time in vegas 'so i was gonna kill mysef...

Naacp Event, the future, and semantics

Eric LaSalle, me, Duane Martin from recent Naacp event... totally neat.

i look like what i imagine a wax statue of me would...
not bad,just somehow not in THE or that moment... or maybe i was just freaking out inside knowing i was the auctioneer, i prefer 'donation mistress' btw, for the night.
hard but fun to ad lib jokes on your own and sell but not sell, 'donate time of' colored people, i mean people of color, i mean, opps, my semantics slip is showing again
⇓
see, secretly, would love to see them switch the c & p
becoming advancement (of) people of color
it's just semantics on my part, but somehow the latter seems more proggressive.
i really dig work they do, i guess just trying to think of little ways to show
a new generation, raised in America, that this organization was
started by both my people- blacks and jews in a church,
now church not as much my thing,tho rest assured i'm spiritual...
amazing we all haven't banded together more smoothly,
Baby steps.. gonna take Baby steps....
i said to that to my friend who was upset at Obama re gay issues
as well as
our country is a quilt made of blood
and sweat of those who stood before..
Baby steps..
people of all colors, across globe are in need.
the above statement is not endorsed by anyone but me, to be clear!

I'm fixing a hole where the rain gets... or oy, cleaning...

problems of the bougie... i have too much stuff...i've all ways been a collector, father was antique dealer for a while.. but- too much is too much.

too many clothes, shoes, chotchki's- (why are they called chotchka's on west coast btw?) so cleaning out inch by inch feels good... i'm not lazy when inspired, but folding up clothes i may or not fit in to ant any given moment is boooooorinnngggg.... and deciding what to donate is hard when you need at least 2 sizes of your fav's... i know i'm lucky to live in america, land of abundance... but it's always nature and the simple moments and memories i think of when calling happiness towards me... not witchypoo prada shoes w/ label still on bottom....
but for the record.. 70% of clothes/shoes are from tv or film stuff. always put it in your contract! x true