infinity in wax

so many things in the last few days... have rippled the vibration of the planet.... what's next?
well Vegas for me for one thing... i kind of not so secretly hate Las Vegas..en masse it attracts a certain type of base level human roach is best way i can describe my vibe on it... a friends being honored w/ a wax statue, so a) i know it'll be air conditioned and b) i abhor gambling... i'll waste money on clothes etc, least you get to upwrap it, let down or no... more often than not, gamblers look so sad to me...
snippet overheard last time in vegas 'so i was gonna kill mysef...

Naacp Event, the future, and semantics

Eric LaSalle, me, Duane Martin from recent Naacp event... totally neat.

i look like what i imagine a wax statue of me would...
not bad,just somehow not in THE or that moment... or maybe i was just freaking out inside knowing i was the auctioneer, i prefer 'donation mistress' btw, for the night.
hard but fun to ad lib jokes on your own and sell but not sell, 'donate time of' colored people, i mean people of color, i mean, opps, my semantics slip is showing again
⇓
see, secretly, would love to see them switch the c & p
becoming advancement (of) people of color
it's just semantics on my part, but somehow the latter seems more proggressive.
i really dig work they do, i guess just trying to think of little ways to show
a new generation, raised in America, that this organization was
started by both my people- blacks and jews in a church,
now church not as much my thing,tho rest assured i'm spiritual...
amazing we all haven't banded together more smoothly,
Baby steps.. gonna take Baby steps....
i said to that to my friend who was upset at Obama re gay issues
as well as
our country is a quilt made of blood
and sweat of those who stood before..
Baby steps..
people of all colors, across globe are in need.
the above statement is not endorsed by anyone but me, to be clear!

I'm fixing a hole where the rain gets... or oy, cleaning...

problems of the bougie... i have too much stuff...i've all ways been a collector, father was antique dealer for a while.. but- too much is too much.

too many clothes, shoes, chotchki's- (why are they called chotchka's on west coast btw?) so cleaning out inch by inch feels good... i'm not lazy when inspired, but folding up clothes i may or not fit in to ant any given moment is boooooorinnngggg.... and deciding what to donate is hard when you need at least 2 sizes of your fav's... i know i'm lucky to live in america, land of abundance... but it's always nature and the simple moments and memories i think of when calling happiness towards me... not witchypoo prada shoes w/ label still on bottom....
but for the record.. 70% of clothes/shoes are from tv or film stuff. always put it in your contract! x true

quick note...

Hey, blue meany haters leaving shitty web comments to me, have a great day!

i wanna start w/ few things every woman should have in no order of importance-
1) A cordless drill w/ a keyless chuck
2) A fire extinquisher
3) hot chocolate, so when you crave sweets you have a cup o cocoa instead and save 900 calories... and trip to deli.
4) a past heartache so you appreciate and recognize real thing...
5) flashlight that works
6) great love... for another, for life, for yourself.

Now on to the real business at hand- i wanted to do a follow up to the 'too solid flesh blog' but got kinda thrown off by the comments.....

i'm really happy to say most people, and especially woman 'got it' and i appreciate that.. the comments of encouragement re setting goals are great... i just got some MBT walking shoes, make you walk 'properly', and stand up straight....which for me is a good thing. kinda look like 1950's orthodec shoes, but i don't care, my poor lil feet need the help! the shoes also make you work the back of thigh muscle and glutes, so here's hoping my 1/2 jewish ass remembers it's got some black dna coding in there somewhere.

i was disappointed by 'you're begging for attention or validation' comments from people (mainly men) who obviously only looked at the picture....there was nothing you wouldn't see on a beach, or in a tv commercial.
does a womans body and innate sexuality scare you boys that much???? c'mon if i was that girl i'd be friending you on myspace w/ an ass shot as avatar..and apparently you'd like that.
if you've landed on blog.... chances are you may not know me, but i think can discern my sensibilites....

And to those who drink their haterade and leave weird mean spirited comments you would never have the cojones to say to a stranger to their face- save for myspace- and you keep hiding on the net- it's a good place for you....clearly the real world might be too much.... but get off my page.. vampires can't enter w/o invite..... everybody knows that, duh!

i was an auctioneer!

totally just 'sold'humans at Naacp charity auction honoring Chairman Julian Bond....-started off by saying- i'm not gonna use word auction, cause there's humans involved...was all in very good fun, for charity, also added- 'think of this as the week on NPR, kcrw, when you DONATE to support, and i'm your Ira Glass... was held at jude mathis house.. 1 word people, plastics. no, actually syndication.
jusge mathis went from gang kid, to youngest judge in his area, to world known tv show... that's chutzpah. last time i attended party at his house the LA Mayor flew in party on helicopter... syndication, y'all. totally regret not grabbing lunch w/ Mr Julian Bond, bid, i mean donation, was high but could/should have! argh #failtotalktolegendoverlunch

ps.. faceless sam- those pics of kids are unbelievably beautiful, and sad since the day you put your dog down...

I am she as you are he as you are me and we are all together.

proof i am me.... i put this up because online sites have fakes, and need verification... not cause i like spouting off urls...

clumsy and kissy

lots of people ask, who sang theme song to H&H- Melonie Daniels did,not me!!!! lots of people still ask about H&H, and tho we were a family, it's been done long enough for me to go..oh, was that me?!.... i def keep in touch w/ lot's of people from H&H!
um, so here's a montage of some H&H and old movie clips that 'was' me, or more correctly me playing other people, at one time or another...i call this mash up
'clumsy and kissy'
has some fun clips from a gregg araki movie,Nowhere, not porn btw....
funny for me to see old clips...it's so far from here...in this moment today, working on indie film projects the same, also making my own documentary, feeling life for real, w/o the safety net of dialogue written, and character to cloak myself in....I ♥ you Mona tho!!!
...well until the 4pm syndi episode... which i've never watched btw.... xxRT
oh forgot to add 2nd song is by supreme beings of leisure-never the same girl. it's on my music player that you should shut off before watching video btw. True

what if you could fly

still looking at clouds from both sides....

behind scenes ay H&H video

really grainy old old footage from behind the scenes 1st year on Half& Half. thank for all the comments, emails etc that you were disappointed when it ended. one word-Chase. xx true

to shut off auto music player

go to music player, 2nd down on left panel and press play/pause... that way you can watch videos w/ no extra bg music. same deal to start player again.. press play/pause button. some of you have said it 'covers' the page... d you mean it's not in its box and covering blog? or that the music is always in?


i checked blog on iphone and looked fine.. could be an IE pc issue? i use safari or foxfire...

ohhh, this too too solid flesh...

this is me last summer...
i'm posting it because i need the motivation...to stop eating crap! i know i'll never be a waif, but this smaller curvy size suits me better than where my body is and naturally likes to hover.. got some working out to gets on...do so miss my private yoga classes, (cue bougie worlds smallest violin)
is it silly to still wanna look your best, even tho ones over the age America deems valuable, which is like 25 or so.... i don't think so...the french woman wear life well... and for me i guess, as an actor the body is the instrument...
and along my journey there's plenty of jobs my ass has legitimately been too big for the ideal...blame lies some where between my own self sabotage & oprah style eating, as much as Hollywoods desire for women to have bodies of teen boy... but i guess we should leave that topic for another time, don't you think? x RT ps that's what real boobs look like LA dudes...

love it....

Henna bridal hands are gorgeous...

so many people, so many choices. big girls must make...

here comes the sun.... the son and heir.. of everything in particular.

sometimes... it's just a paradigm shift... an epiphany... a new opening...a new life...
thoughts, the moon rocks of the desert,friends, nothing, everything, anything i want....

hmmmnnn..

i've realized my last few dates have talked ad nauseum re their old girlfriends.... at first i thought i was a lesson for me to deal w/ jealousy.. at 1st, by that i mean 15 mins ish, it probably was/is. i mean jealousy is base. unneeded ancient wiring, if you have trust you're golden....i believe it's true, because i've experienced it, that if a guys into you, he'll move galaxies to please you... to be near you.

Now i realize these new talky dudes are just kinda lame and lacking in social graces... think they are trying to impress me w/ who they dated etc...the dialogue wasn't about their own patterns.. it was 'so and so did this f'd up thing to me', or 'so and so likes that too'... kinda a convo ender.

it's never been my MO to talk of specific people, rather maybe patterns i've had in relationships if it came up...at appropriate times.
almost each of my ex's held their own, and presently aren't in the room so why talk about them...
in summation- dudes... i could give 2 flying fucks that you & old GF liked to get pinkberry before watching a video... seriously, go away and grab a pinkberry w/ whats er name.
signed, bored w/ average guys.

some days... some days... i feel like a squashed fairie...

ps- i really want this dress from last season. anyone over theirs and would like to give it to me?

insomnia and Salome if she was a tween in 1997

'Bring me the head of john the baptist on a platter.. or scary spice, either will do... you said anything if i did my veil shtick...'- salome
i think Oscar Wilde would feel me on this....

things I'm working on...

so i make collages, this is kinda like a collage, of a few thoughts roaming round....
what do you wanna change re yourself? and what do you like about yourself....