drug use up 'in these troubled times'

relax- he found the catnip stash...

thru the wires

online social sites, FB twitter etc.... i get them... that's why i'm on them.. i like connecting w/ people... sort of..... don't like that boundaries are left by the wayside under the guise of an avatar...people i've never met referring to me as a 'douche'...or sending me deluded fb myspace emails w/ their phone nums asking 'why we can't work it out?', when I'VE NEVER MET THEM....is...creepy at best.
i've sent comments to people i admire, authors, writers, musicians, directors etc.. if/when they comment back i appreciate it, but totally know that i still don't know them, it doesn't make us BFF's cause they laughed at a joke online... it's not real, much like hollywood, it's smoke and mirrors people...

if people knew me, they wouldn't approach me like that... i think i will always disappoint those who stick to a fixed idea or projection of who i am based on images i've played... even myself if i subscribed to that thinking..
movies and pictures in magazines are images crafted to make one feel a certain way...

i very aware there are many many worse things happening on this planet than dealing w/ lonely needy internet people...of that I'm sure.

on catching the wave of vibration

so... listening to the wind & thinking of the ashes we came from and return to...hey lil' bro i hear you... pic from after services, amoungst tears and pain there is laughter, to celebrate the life that was....

green dude

Now i love teeny tiny dude... he was like 1/8 to 1/4 inch long...hope he makes it! i love snapping bug photos- go figure...

my sisters new baby toy!

seriously, unless you know my sister, really don't watch this, i'm posting it public so her friends can see her delicious new baby... otherwise you'll be like, i have a 2 month old baby, i could of shot that- and yes you could have...
or you'll be like, why do i need to see rachel babbling on to a baby?, you don't. so save yourself.
unless you love listening to me catching a 2 month old up on this weeks gossip.

To my sis, remember when you played this song for me waaaaaay before your own family?! super neat you have a new toy baby!!!! xx Rachel

Taming the beat

training my 20lb dog...i mean cat...i mean Dorse...

i feel green today.... like a Lorelie who lives in the sea, playing in serpents... ps have music player on botton left of page, give it a click, Lorelie's have eclectic eccentric tastes...

I'm working on writing, finishing a script i've got going, i love writing... sometimes i do let my characters wander...so i'm all about the structure at the moment...
Technorati Profile
don't know what above means....

i dream of being a gypsy traveling round...and getting paid for it...

Zimbabwe and baby elephant toes.... from Rachel True on Vim

Baby elephant toes!
Every one should travel to Africa!!!!!! and play w/ baby elephants.... i was there amazed at number of German, Asian tourists in Africa, but precious few Americans, that's our education system for you.... we all go to Europe 1st.... we're such a eurocentric colonial country when it comes down to it. x true

I love this dude.....

spring

Other brother in arms RIP 2008

Roc Wolfgang Reeder was 28, a brilliant sun son....i imagine he's surfing waves across the galaxy. RIP 2008, his was 1st my funeral ever.
i think of him a lot, a lot, a lot....he's still teaching me, every day.....

older brother in arms

when i was @ 9 months-4 yrs and living w/ lovely old people, Oma and Opa, foster care, but not really, but kinda actually - people found in the paper who took in kids, my folks indisposed shall we say...- my older brother bunked above me and quite often peed the bed...i wondered why when he was the elder by years? why he'd throw bubble gum at my hair during the night resulting in having to cut it all off.... just why?

Many secrets later, i know i'm fortunate to have not seen the images burning up his little mind. glad i missed it, who wants another baby round when the shit's going down...

I called Aaron the elder, to let him know our younger 1/2 brother Roc, had passed. Sadly, brother Aaron had managed to avoid EVER meeting other brother due to his pesky 20 yr drug haze.

he freaked and yelled a lot, like it was my doing he'd never met Roc and his time bomb of a heart condition...
splotchy silent tears despite knowing his anger was at himself...
family, u gotta love them but they'll get you every time.

what's silly is memories of this were triggered whilst watching 'the women, goupies, of the hair band LA sunset strip scene', on VH1. mentioned old style hollywood clubs.....

when i was a very underage teen on a rare visit to my mom in LA, we went straight from airport to the Cathay De Grand, she knew everyone there and instucted me to say I was her sister, which i did. then an after hours spot... then another after hours spot.... elder brother never got to pretend he was her brother...yet he's the one w/ drug issues, NOT me..how is that possible? then i remember...i didn't see what he saw.
look at that face, os full of promise...a beautiful beautiful boy... at this age already carrying so much on his little shoulders, i guess that's the kinda weight that you never drop....

just a life moment

Old blog from last year, but the feeling still makes me smile or smirk...had great times since then, but this one was old school random freaky cool.

you ever have one of those nights where everything goes right?
this pic i'm posting was one o' those...., (which i randomly saw on internet only recently, (and highlights my profile which my dad always said-not your best angle huh, kid?)
I'd gone to a cell phone launch party, that bonus gnarls barkly were performing at-cee lo and co were heading on stage, he grabs my arm is is like i know you, you're funny, i wanna talk to you! i die, right? and i'm so not funny for a weird moment, cuz i'm like 'you sing great, and dangermouse um your so tall....'
jordy and i wedge right up to the stage, i got shout outs from the band, then later at after party Dangermouse aka Brian settles a heated faux but not so faux argument caused by a faux pas the guy who created boondocks made,.... i ♥ dangermouse for being such a gentleman, wise hot dude, not to mention quiet genius. it would be boring if all nights were this fun, but when it happens unexpectedly it's always a ride.

3 day hangover

3 day hang over.. my fault for drinking crap
syrupy cheap wine... liquor is poison to my system... pretty sturdy constitution usually....

(OMG remind me to tell you about the time I was mocked for using the word constitution in that context - they were like, 'what? Well, I"VE never heard it used that way....)

it's a good thing to not drink often, ever been sober round your drunk friends? get's less amusing each time... and what it brings out in people, wish they had the chutzpah to talk w/o shame about same stuff sans drink...

ps i hate ads for Ensure. it's a totally valid product, just reminds me of years ago when i had mono and at 90 lbs the doc's where pushing it on me. i thought i looked fabulous btw, tho ALL my friends disagree... i tried to subsist on lemon italian ice but that was'nt very nutritious, and i do not recommend it. oh, yeah, and when my dad was sick, nothing but fucking cases of en-fucking-sure.