Sunday, October 11

my not very helpful hair and skin blog..

here's why i'm loathe to do a real blog re hair, or how to stay looking whatever...
i have no clue. no really... not a clue.  besides decent dna. (shaky on the teeth dentin thing though)

yup.. it's that simple and unenlightening. i don't drink nearly enough water... i washed my face with ivory soap for most of my life...never had a facial... i don't always eat right.. (that's another blog)
i've played around w/ expensive cleansers etc only to find, anything simple, like phisoderm even keeps my skin looking fine.
after my dad passed,(while working on H&H) i went on a junk food tear, (he always called me fat, so y'know i ate the death feelings down) was totally over weight, and did get cystic acne. I cut out the crap, lost weight, embeded zits went away. surfacey teenage white heads still come and go.
the trade off to youngish skin i find is, i sweat like a crazy person, for no reason. could be hiking, or just nervous and i'm um, glowing. maybe that helps flush out toxins... i dunno... my mother looks exceptionally young... tho I inherited her early graying of the hair.

which brings us to hair.. I'm no guru! just a  chick who happens to have some naturally curly hair. it's not relaxed. or permed, just wash and go, but since i dye the heck out of my hair, ( mainly because my dark natural color looks dense & blocky on camera, & to cover grey streak i inherited at 16.)
makes my hair fragile like a newborn kitten, like, it could split ends if you stare too hard.

when you see publicity or movie stills... the makeup and hair is done by professionals, cause i'm an actress and stuff....the candid pictures posted are much more true to life... i don't walk around w/ perfect curls, lit properly... i bloody wish. and in the NOH8 picture where my shoulder length hair is 3 ft long... um, hi, clip in fun hair. i don't wear for life, but i like creating illusions, it's my job. i knew fun hair would make a more striking pic for a great cause. them i unclipped it, back to the same old bob i've had since 20!

what works for my fine curls, may not work for you. my hair changed textures when i moved from humid NYC to dry CA, had to adapt...my fine hair liked humidity, where as if yours is thick, different boat.

if i want that shirley temple look that i'm too old for, but old people love on me.. i twirl curls round my finger in natural direction while damp and there you have it.

i do recommend and am paid by none-
1. olive oil... i keep some in the shower, once a week-ish leave it in for a few hours or hair, shampoo out. not a bad body moisturizer either.
2. if you're in the money- i LOVE Kerastase. too f'ing expensive though, be warned.
3. Aubrey-organics GPB conditioner. i've use it forever, their web-site is full of comments from curly hair women singing praises. i find some of products too heavy..  gpb stands for glycogen protein balancer- in english, help moisturize when needed, fills in protein when needed. google them. oddly enough, they don't target black or jewish curl girls.. you can find in heath food stores. i love their primrose tanglo gro  for a spray during the day. oddly the spray for curly hair they have jus made my curls greasy & limp.
4. pure shea butter... once again i have to wash out, some of your hair make absorb it.
5.finesse made my scalp burn and hair fall out. allergic reaction, sure. but it sucked!
6. mixed chick hair products are pretty good too.
7. a good leave in conditioner, i even leave gpb in... and a good gel helps define!
8. sometimes i wet hair in showers or just in the sink with hands, run conditioner thru it, and leave in, but shampoo rarely as it's sooooo dry here.

most important remember, curls are delicate, all are different. accepting what you have and working with it is the best advice.  many occasion my hair feels like brillo fyi... which usually in LA means more moisture... x true

Tuesday, October 6

Where the wild things are movie review and dear diary update...


 my vey mini movie review-

 'Where The Wild Things Are' movie is very well done... delves beyond picture book images into the struggles of growing up, loneliness, admitting to, and taking responsibility for ones own actions...(y'know, stuff we big kids still struggle with...or this big kid still ponders...)
i loved the creatures realistic voices surprisingly sedate, thus letting you see the arch types clearly despite or because of muppets. i also appreciated its nebulous time setting, snow fort building is 'play', not video games and the few scenes that take place at 'home' effectively portray an alienated latch key kid struggling to fit in to his life.


Dear diary,

today i cut my nails w/ scissors, used clear lip gloss as lotion on an ashy spot at an audition, received a poetic streamy consciousnessy email from an old friend that made me smile and giggle out loud. traveled by tardis because sometimes i'd like to be there as opposed to here...need to see The Doctor. Oh, and I'm wishing dental visits had been higher on my folks list of priorities. just saying, oh so soft teeth o' mine.


PS- i have seen many many movies lately but have not made inane flip movies for you. You're welcome.


Saturday, September 19

somewhere in the middle again....

@rebeccawalker RT @jendeaderick Great illustr. of appeal/trap of trad role: remaining little girl, safe from ugliness, never in control. #madmen


I'm somewhere in the middle... have a younger-ish energy, according to people who meet me...the desire but not quite fully realized ability to rock a suit like a grown up, and yet, I'm grown, oh so very grown... and my safety is in the now, not the past or a childhood dreamtime of living amoungst faerie folks or characters in books to escape the then...

check out the Carrie Fisher repost below...as an actor, but also as a woman i relate .... when someone comments 'you look tired'.. or what they want/expect from me..... i think.. when did i make anyone a promise to stay frozen in time at 25...and who asked you anyways stranger what you desire from/of me?
me and my no botoxing etc ass are quite comfortable with ourselves,how we look, what we do.... ayup, pulled out the royal 'we'. True


reblogged from http://carriefisher.com/?p=462

Weight AND Wisdom! By Carrie • Sep 6th, 2009 • Category: News


I thought that I’d forgotten one of the things I was thinking of writing about, but now I remember………at least I think I do…… One thing is that I foolishly Googled myself last nite—–because the Enquirer has been trying to get me to confirm some asinine thing I said as a bad joke AGES ago, & I wanted to see if had shown up somewhere—- which it hadn’t—– until now, when I stupidly call attention to this non event here——- ANYWAY—–in the process of searching, I found that someone had posted that I USED to be hot, but that now I looked like Elton John. As much as I attempted to place myself above the reach of this observation……
I must admit that…..yup……. This ended up hurting my feelings—–all 7 of them.
You see, I was hot when most people are hot—- in my fucking 20’s & part of my 30’s……THEN, in an effort to imitate humans, I had a child &, to further maintain my life like disguise, I took medications for about 9 thousand years, &, despite all my efforts, I continued to get older & older——inadvertently, I assure you———-I tried to arrest my development physically as WELL as emotionally, but unfortunately without as much success. I also must confess that I ate food. I’m sorry….. I realize that I promised never to eat anything but lettuce & sun flower seeds, but tragically, I was unable to keep my promise.
Yes, I realize…..I KNOW that I vowed to exercise for 3 hours a day—-aerobics, pilates AND yoga, but alas, I admit with a large quota of shame, that I failed to fulfill this other important commitment.
NO, I shouldn’t look as if 30 years have passed. I understand completely if you can’t find it in your heart to forgive me for looking like 3 decades have passed…….Of COURSE you should mock & belittle me for being so large!! What else could you POSSIBLY do?????!?  I’ve let you down by treating my body as though it were just some giant sad sack that I use to haul my personality around. You have every right to compare me to Yoda or Elton or Kirstie…….I’ve brought it on myself.
But here’s this thing that I found myself wondering………what the fuck do YOU look like??!
I know i don’t really have the right to ask……I’m a public figure——Ive made an unspoken contract to keep that figure slim…….but still, I find myself wondering…….See, I think the folks that insult & mock celebrities who DARE to pack on ten pounds or—–God forbid——MORE than ten!…..I would think it only fair that they post a photo of themselves along with their poisonous observations!  And you know what else would be SUPER cool??? Their IQ! ALL the numbers! An approximate count of Weight AND wisdom!
And as a teeny aside—–my show on Broadway is not about my appearance. Oh sure, I’m killing myself trying to lose weight before I open so I won’t offend any theater goers eyes while attempting to entertain them via their ears…… But just in case I don’t achieve my goal of keeping my promise to look 25 & instead manage to remind you of bulbous slugs or gay, iconic musicians……..
I’d like to take this opportunity to offer this quasi poignant explanation & to say to those of you I’ve visually offended…… from the bottom of my heart encased in fat——-
BLOW MY BIG BOVINE tiny dancer COCK!
We now return to our regular programing……
XxOoCf
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Thursday, September 17

that honesty twitter thingie bot

people can post their thoughts fairly anonymously....it's called the entire internet.
that cloak of safety isn't enough anymore for some... i knew on FB there was an honestly box.. because there'd be these things like "do you wanna know if anonymous thinks you're a good kisser" ... and i'd be like 'no, um, i don't...not really.'
recently on twitter i got a few posts from an anonymous bot... "someone thinks you're xyz" w/ xyz being a not so nice opinion about me.
thoughts-
scenrio A- if it's someone i actually know they'd feel comfortable expressing it to me in front of me, yup... even the hard stuff... it's what we do.

scenario B- a strangers who have desire to connect.. hiding behind their own avatar, isn't enough safety anymore.... they 'want' more....including one more layer of protection for themselves. i picture a bunch of really unhappy folks to be honest.... wanting more and more and more, trying to grab a piece.... of something they can't touch... and it threatens them... why would anyone want to suck another's energy?

I'd encourage one to worry less about me, and to focus on yourself and to finding own light... everyone has one...right? you'll find it so much more empowering than focusing on people you don't know.

I also receive a great amount of incredibly funny insightful intelligent fb comments, tweets, expanding on themes brought up,  i appreciate they don't try to analyze me... thank you ever so much for that.... it's all just puzzles and word games anyway....xx true

the right wrong-part of article from huffington post by Sasha Cagen

i'm posting this because while it seems to focus on negative, i think it more just states a reality. no need to lower expectations, but realize... everyone including ourselves comes w/ stuff... can you deal w/ someones stuff... and help them, and vice versa... i like thinking of relationships as partnerships... because you do wanna gaze lovingly at your dude and think 'wow, a human w/ foibles, but i wanna/gotta have me some of this yum yum. their issues may rub you the wrong way, or inspire you to see the gift of reflection in what's bugging you... hopefully the latter.


'-Andrew Boyd wrote book called Daily Afflictions: The Agony of Being Connected to Everything in the Universe. One of the daily afflictions is “Loving the Wrong Person.”
Andrew writes, “We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. . . it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. It isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that you’re ready to fine a life-long mate. Only then do you finally know what you are looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person—someone you can gaze lovingly upon, and think, ‘This is the problem I want to have.’'

tripping the super funkadelic light fantastic way to end of universe instead of tripping down hole in front of me. ayup.

or shit- Mercury is like sooooo in retrograde.
it's a choice right?.... whether you fall into the abyss from fea or sadness, or steer the course of your life, starting with your mind, in another direction... get in your own tardis, of which you are your own time lord, circumvent, navigate the stars...
it's been one of those times when i have to admit Mercury in retrograde is kicking my ass... i've really been feeling it.....and my electronics, which i've lways had a convoluted relationship with, are indeed breaking down more. All communications have been tricky.... a misplaced word taken out of context... even thinking too loudly can be heard...
i wished to be invisible for a moment..mostly cause i saw this abc  prime time special about hitting kids, and the effects it has... reminded me i'd pretend as a kid (and older) i didn't exist so i wouldn't call attention to myself, but also so Iwouldn't have to pay attention to myself.... That behaviour may have been a tool to survive then, but dimming shine now only leads straight to staring in to the abyss, and me blinking first, which is not so much my style.
the business i'm in is about singing out, in showing off, showing in, shining. shining on cue as a matter of fact.
personally i love my shine, i loved it as a kid.... even got some of that steven king kinda shine, but that's another blog.... both kinds have helped me chart my path many time..
.
there will be an answer... let it be... as the Beatles and a friend reminded me. Still sorting the questions i think....
 PS-i really hate that RWR died almost a year ago now. i so get the soul moves on.. and his energy /soul is fine. i'm whining, yes i'll admit it... whining for me, our mom, his bride.. all of it, i still think it's freaky that was the 1st funeral i ever attended.  ahh...there will be an answer, let it be.

Tuesday, September 15

cards, ripe with hidden meanngs..


 
 readings like this simply remind you if you're open, and feeling it... anything can happen... DEPENDING on your choices... the bends in the road can be so tempting!

ah, but i also got the tower  and wheel of fortune...... that means there may be a foundation rocking change, good or bad, the wheel spins, and where it stops nobody knows, these cards came before the others... so i'd assume it means, eyes open to what the wheel of life proffers...just options and thing s to mull over...t hat's really why i like cards.. no easy answers, just things to meditate on, like even if you know nothing about cards... it's about what the images trigger for you depending on your situation... oh i do so love a good puzzle!

Sunday, September 13

message from one of my fav ex's received today....

many moons ago in Holland w/ a poet

"when will you seek out the poet? Piers plays at Hotel café LA on the 23rd just so you know darling.
how are you? great to be in touch with the beauty India from hollywood, lets do a catch up some time. am in paris - been and done lots you know.... big sloppy kisses and strong hugs to you my girl, Dom."

i still have such affinity for this serious minded brooding writer and poet...we met in college.. NY dimly lit memories.... He's always been a man about town, so the 'sloppy kisses' part, one takes with many grains of salt, as it's undoubtedly the way he signs all emails... but who doesn't dig/need/appreciate strong hugs and love from old friends in far away lands... we still circle back to each other with ease and interest in who we've evolved into... so there, men and women can be friends.
You must must check out Piers Faccini, his totally talented singer/songwriter brother, on itunes, especially KCRW fans! and if in L.A. check out his show at Hotel Cafe on 23rd in Hollywood. Ahhh, those Faccini bothers.. such a talented a lot.