meme's & you you's

@Rachel True sty town to thompkins sq pk library, cobblestones beneath, icey blue above, endless possibilities ahead. saturday mems of yore. 

posted that on fb & twitter i think, nothing deep, just an old memory that expanded would have read something verbose like... "oh neat, I'm remembering walking from sty town alone, along cobblestones and snow to thomkins sq park library etc bla bla bla".. it was just a flickery flash memory... {flash mob meme of the mind?}

~those cobblestones made me happy as a little kid in NYC, paved over but tenaciously enduring, I could relate to them. (but then again, i thought round subway girder bolts were dinosaur eggs)... oh & that beautiful church at 2nd & 10, where Coopers buried & surrounding courtyards between buildings on E. 11th..&~ 

ANYWAY... some person i don't know, comments on FB.. 

them-you  can do better, and come back dowm to earth... etc

so i'm confused, because it's my memory and all so i comment something snarky like-wow, thanks you really understand me.

them-Without critics to keep us grounded, we are nothing but floating space bunnies.

i write- 'if you're looking for grounded this may not be the page for you.' i mean, that's the truth right, i like silly riddles and um, it's the net and all so why are you critiquing me?! it seems bad form. i don't go round to random strangers pages ripping their status. why? because i don't care.and if i care, i doubt i'm dumping on person. i'm cracking a joke or saying hi.

them-maybe so, but it might help you out to return back to earth every now and then. Just look at what happened to Tila Tequila. Shes out there lingering in the alpha centauri system and showing no signs of coming home. besides, u can do much better.

now I'm really confused.. do better what, smuck?... have better childhood memories? who are you anyway? oh wait... i don't care. so finally i end it all with... the very grown up wording-

-read you latest status re 'whores'.... my parents say we can't be friends anymore. buh bye.  

person tried to re friend me w/ message that i needed expletive expletive, & was too sensitive. no- i just didn't give a shit...like seriously, not my vibe. so why have that energy around me, yknow.

why write post on silly banal negativity, at all?

one more push to get others to dig you don't have to agree w/ others, think the same, (my, that'd be boring!) but...this above exchange.... is a prime example of how not to introduce yourself to a stranger in real life, or on web.

pretty standard move of 'put a person down in attempt to get attention'. that gets you blocked, you're not in grade school nor am I your mama.

when you follow & tweet only me whether nice or mean.. red flag. make some more friends, you'll like it, twitters like soooooooo much more fun that way. plus, i'm rather dull, you'll find.

when you comment on something you don't understand, before sharing thoughts that 'I must be' -xy i could give  shit- might i recommend Google. it's this really neato website, and comes in super handy. 

we don't all get along w/ in life or the web. being 'friends' & 'connected' etc is not an invitation to be rude... or to actually hang out.

i've commented etc people to no response ever... or maybe they have responded, but when they don't..... it's not personal towards me, BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW THEM, are you seeing what i'm getting at? AT ALL, LIKE EVEN A LITTLE?

i end with saying- THERE ARE SO MANY SUPER COOL PEOPLE WHO LEAVE GREAT THOUGHT PROVOKING COMMENTS, THANK YOU FOR THE COOLNESS!!!
down w/ the negativity. 

Happy Holidays! True.

this i can say...

having delusional stranger fixate on you, email your blog w/ lewd content, & physically follow you- could happen to ANYONE, & it’s criminal.

my point-its an amazing beautiful life, you just have to keep your eyes open along the way. being a little kid in NYC trained me well.

shout out to the police officers and detectives who help keep us all safe.

Hey December...

these are the moments of Scorpio Phoenix silence...

hope you all are well, safe and sound. xx True

thanksgiving w/ every flavor. shot by my bro in law w/ his fab camera i covet.

thanksgiving from Rob King on Vimeo.

found this picture on web... awww, i loved that tiny apt by the sea.. it served me well!

somebody needs to get her winter hair colour on...

 epitome of, hmmm....

what to do w/ ones hair,

when it's curly yet not curly,

and highlights are meandering

into that shade o' blonde.

happy birthday to me.

in those big birthday books everybody has, mine has 2 meanings..

the the day of the Encounter, and the day of Grace.

i look forward to many more graceful yummy encounters  ♥✰✈... and i'm thankful for the gorgeous ones i've already experienced... and the awkward graceless moments, i learn and grow from every single time.

when i was a girl...i was taught to be realistic, but i spent all my time imagining, dreaming anything possible... ;  )

to pair or not to pair?

my friend snapped this...i see me, shy, dazed, & confused that the world keeps going by... (this is not smizing, as tyra would say)  girly woman me as always,  but it's like there's this view i'm missing... and it's right there in front of me...

Anyway today my twitter question was-

never married, because i never wanted to divorce. are we meant to be together a lifetime? i don't know, so i'll just be here now.
i got differing responses, mostly not regarding my query, but rather focused on marriage & projection.

@aliyasking wrote-  RT @racheltrue never married, because i never want to divorce. [so don't audition bcuz you might not get the part? Or show might not last?]

 my reply to her-
@aliyasking you assume too much. i didn't say i don't love... i simply questioned life long marriage.

to question the institution of marriage, (a luxury everyone should have, regardless of orientation) isn't a denial of love. the two aren't mutually exclusive. i love ♥, marriage=tax break to me though, & so many different things to different people.

SO, do you think people are meant to pair up for life?
have you experienced truly happy couples of 10 or more years? are your parents still 'happily' married?
i know a few couples like that, as well as a few i don't socialize with anymore because the lack of having each others back was palpable.
i do think some are meant to find each other and take the journey together.. I'm a romantic American girl raised on promises and the Red, Blue and Violet fairy books... 
and i also believe some souls meetings are meant to be brief encounters... with lasting finger prints.

all hallows eve...rocking on w/ my Nov Scorpio self.

"You're a Scorpio Water Faery"
adorable undrunk boy said. "See me when you're grown" I said with a goodbye cheek kiss. him sweetly laughing, calling, "c'mon, let me give you my num... email...?" as I walked away.(i trust if we are meant to met up someday we will, and that's a bet)
how bloody great is that for any gal, btw nice to feel 'seen,' probably cause I was relaxed, and 'appreciated', probably cause i was 'mellow' me, not wound me. 
The reflection for me is-
A. how like totally fun it is to be flirty! (i know, duh) and um,
B. could learn to conquer nerves and finesse it when the stakes higher. When it's fairly innocent or 'practice flirting' I am, or can be..... lovely, smart, quick,concise, witty, (swear to god, you should see me, i'm very good at a party...) 
So the goal is to become... more and more comfortable in my own skin. May require a chrysalis mayhaps built for 2, or  simplyhanging upside down for a while in Dagoba swamps, to emerge a more present lady when the boy is an interesting/ interested present man. i see the work i can/have do on myself... and know it will take patience with myself & in the end probably a very specific kooky smooky cool dude who'll desire to share himself and delight in discovering layers of the true and truth.

for the ♥ of love ♥

"i feel stupid, and contagious"...sums up dating.
i think it's the same way i felt at this age-----------> (look at that hair & same suspicious look!?)

i admit, I love... love.... not just it's first flush, or the subsequent heart felt flutters, or the lusty luxurious days spent exploring....,but all of it. the digging in and learning/growing, because you want to, because the person means that much, you trust you'll be safe. a great fabulous payoff is sex gets exponentially more intense the deeper you go with each other.

but quite often... i talk too much to cover my nerves with new people, which only serves to hide my intelligence.... i pick up on energy and unwittingly bring up the very thing they're sure they've hidden from sight. mostly, the dudes aren't listening anyway, and if they are they are, i'd love a dollar for every time one says " i don't want to talk, or  have intimate conversation... i just wanted to blow off some steam with you" ...or in other words, 'be the image i have of you.. silent, frozen, lips slightly parted, w/ a manufactured look of desire... y'know, like your pictures, or movies...' 
how do i end up in these situations.. is the real question for myself... and for you-

i will let you down... if that's all you seek from me.

 go blow & fuck yourself average dude.  xx True

p.s. addendendum  
left this blog on the note that the question for me, is of course, what or why do i attract these dudes. that's for me to figure out, not you. i have a lovely collection of ex's btw... brilliant & talented all of them, (except the one w/the 8 pack.. but he had other attributes..)i have much respect for them all, despite their being ex's.
blog isn't a whine as much as.. the actuality of dating the usual suspects of L.A..
and let me not leave out that, just as certain men aren't for me, i've had an equal amount of men i've adored for one reason or another be, um... just not that into me. and that's life.
el fin.