Sunday, November 1

to pair or not to pair?

my friend snapped this...i see me, shy, dazed, & confused that the world keeps going by... (this is not smizing, as tyra would say)  girly woman me as always,  but it's like there's this view i'm missing... and it's right there in front of me...

Anyway today my twitter question was-
never married, because i never wanted to divorce. are we meant to be together a lifetime? i don't know, so i'll just be here now.
i got differing responses, mostly not regarding my query, but rather focused on marriage & projection.

@aliyasking wrote-  RT @racheltrue never married, because i never want to divorce. [so don't audition bcuz you might not get the part? Or show might not last?]

 my reply to her-
@aliyasking you assume too much. i didn't say i don't love... i simply questioned life long marriage.

to question the institution of marriage, (a luxury everyone should have, regardless of orientation) isn't a denial of love. the two aren't mutually exclusive. i love ♥, marriage=tax break to me though, & so many different things to different people.

SO, do you think people are meant to pair up for life?
have you experienced truly happy couples of 10 or more years? are your parents still 'happily' married?
i know a few couples like that, as well as a few i don't socialize with anymore because the lack of having each others back was palpable.
i do think some are meant to find each other and take the journey together.. I'm a romantic American girl raised on promises and the Red, Blue and Violet fairy books... 
and i also believe some souls meetings are meant to be brief encounters... with lasting finger prints.


  1. If you're lucky. My friend and her girlfriend seem like they're in it for the long haul. We're all 28, but neither of them were in any relationships (or even knew they were gay) until they met each other some 4 years ago.

    When I see things like that happen around me, I can't help but think (or hope) that I can find something similar.

    But then since when is everybody lucky at life?

  2. Interesting points.I knew of some people who marriend for 60 years.They are dead now, and buried beside each other too. I wouldn't be surprised if someone unearths trheir graves and finds to bodies in one coffin.And if I beleived in an afterlife, I'd say they are still journeying it together.But I dont.
    My parents are divorced.And sometimes I like to think that the Creator put some one on this earth for each person and all us single people have yet to meet our other half.And for some people, its true and others, it isnt.I think such a truth depends on the mind of the beleiver.

  3. Beautiful Photo, the camera loves you!

  4. Interesting statement "never married, because i never wanted to divorce". Is this deep rooted from familial experience? Have you ever been in a relationship that was heading towards marriage? If so, what ultimately held you back?

    Albeit the many questions, this is an interesting topic that compels one to delve deeper. Are you game?

  5. @ Seeker..According to Rachel we arent supposed to analyze her, just ourselves. Which is hard to do since you read this stuff and your urged to an opinion to either butter her up or offer a suggestion, or perhaps become a slight critic."You don't know me,but you know you" she says. Sooooo, I think there are some people in this life who are destined to be together and maybe there are some people are meant to be single, and no matter how much life tries to tell them that, they just dont see that, and get again and again.And then there are the people in the middle, who go against nature and actually find someone when they werent supposed to.Some of them are perfectly happy and others get divorced again again.Does this make any sense?

  6. when you hear a song... you listen to the words & apply it to your own life, relationships etc.. right?
    so, victoria, apply that to this blog.
    you implied i want or need to be 'buttered up' or need advice.
    see that's assuming a heck of a lot... neatly wrapped in a passive aggressive package.

    how do YOU feel about pairing was the question (in your life)... which you did answer eventually.. and quite succinctly btw.
    sooooooo, in closing, if you're not moved by topic, you don' have to comment.

  7. Rachel your always so cute on your pics,i just see a woman with alot of life in her.....well i say YES i think people are meant to pair up for life,if they really love one another,i hate it when people married for something that's not love....if your not in real love,why do it?...for the money or the bullsh-t i guess right?...well i guess that's just how i feel....if i'm go down to married town,i'm not going to f--k gota be ready(or know)that you are truly going to respect that person your with for life,an can let single life things go...cuz i see alot of that with young married people i grandparents have been married for like 50 years(they look happy),an my parents never was married(thank god)....see marriage is like you going out to do acting for the first time,it maybe kind of scary to do,but you'll never know,an less you give it a try ^_^

  8. "i also believe some souls meetings are meant to be brief encounters... with lasting finger prints."

    Beautifully stated, and very true. This concept is actually the centerpiece of the book that I decided to never publish.

    As a child of divorced parents, I'm still making up my mind regarding what I think of "marriage". What I do know is that if I choose to get married, my hypothetical wife & I will create our own definition of what that means. People too often attach themselves to philosophies that do not work for them rather than create a custom framework to build their relationship on.

  9. I want to address the idealistic proponents of marriage:

    When people use "I know couples who've been married 50/60/etc. years" as a defense of marriage against today's high divorce rate, they are being naive.

    50 years. Think of the state of gender roles and what society demanded of people at the time these couples were married.

    Younger generations are quick to dismiss the old fashioned values of these older generations when it comes to child-rearing, gender roles and race, and even the notion of staying planted in one place working the same job for 40 years, and rightfully so.

    But you can't then turn around and put the old school on a pedestal when it comes to marriage, when you don't agree with those old couple on lifestyle. Their antiquated values and sacrifices are the same components necessary for the "successful marriages" that lasted half a century.

    (P.S.-Not to mention some of those 50 year marriages may be out of convenience because the partners feel they are too old to move on and adapt to the new dating scene.)

  10. Hey Rachel,

    Interesting topic. Mainly cause I have been debating it with friends for the past couple weeks. Not to mention before my mother passed this summer I was still getting the "when are you going to get married" lectures daily : )

    I miss hearing that now, but I have always been on the fence about marriage. I was raised in a single parent home, but I have met a lot of elder couples that have been married for 30 to 50 years happily. The younger set, not so much nowadays IMO.

    I would like to think there is someone out there to spend my life with, but most relationships nowadays seem so quick, spur of the moment. It feels like people don't connect like they use to for a lifetime commitment. Right now, I am single, no kids, and relatively happy, though according to my friends with kids, I shouldn't be lol.

    Who knows, I could be just subconsciously jaded from watching to much "Cheaters" and "Divorce Court". :)

  11. I have often (half-jokingly) said I met the one true love of my life, but unfortunately, I wasn't hers.
    (Note the jokingly, emphasize the half.)

  12. I think people are meant to pair up for life. The problem arises when people think that "a person" is the right one instead of waiting for "the person." Every person one encounters is not the "soul mate". Hence, some people are meant to leave "lasting fingerprints."

    After many relationships, I celebrated 10 years yesterday with my girlfriend. We will be married in Canada in 2011 if the US doesn't get its act together. Thanks for the post-- I enjoyed it.

  13. Hello,

    I have never seen you work in film or anything like that. I know virtually nothing about you.

    I saw your picture on a Facebook friend's photo album and asked who you were. So now I know who you are.

    My Facebook profile has 'Gareth Macready wants to meet Rachel True on it. I'll leave it there for a while and see what happens.

    If you choose to look me up, that's cool.