pretty pretty frocks (i desire) all dancing in a row....

Here's some dresses i found that i adore!!! 

I'd dress like this all the time if i could, and the occasions called... i admire that in european and NY women, a casual chic is always welcomed.

The designs vary from Fendi, Anna Sui, Temperley London,  Stella McCartney, Miu Miu, Leaves Of Grass. the cheapest amoung them is the Anna Sui cotton casual summery dress at 400-600 bucks. (i know!!!)

Occasionally I indulge in a pieces that are sooooo me, or so classic and cool, it'll still look great in 10 years. I've a Stella McCartney trench from 6/7 years ago, that looks brand new, still merits compliments every time, and the cut is perfection. that's the real draw of designer duds.

 I remember questioning the purchase... it was 65% off, i was working but it was still a gripola. absolutely, one of the best investment pieces i have. As are some miu mui things i've picked up... funky, but adult.Some cheaper piece tend to disintegrate or eventually looked out dated.

to get to the point------> Mostly i'm a practical gal.... living in LA, I know that 3000 dollar dresses are more often loaned out than purchased by actresses....  very few clever folks here with newly gained dosh spend 20 grand a week on clothes, they have 'deal' and loaners via publicist relationships.

it pains me to see the average american woman go into debt over things that depreciate, like clothing... it's like that Sex i the city episode where she realizes she could have bought a lovely apt with what she'd spent in clothes.

so i suggest, what i do.. i look at the shapes, cuts, materials, and find a happy affordable medium, knowing that a good tailor your best friend. Almost everything you see on ladies in movies and telly was custom fit to that persons exact figure. if your tailor makes patterns, you ca always have them make that Fendi-esque dress for you. they do it on movies for a fraction of the designers wholesale cost...  also, i know many a famous gal who sends her stylist to Loehmans or other high end discount chains, to find a bargain.

click on image to see larger.

whine, a little. tennis too!

I love tennis, like... you love baseball, jai lai or football -which i know nothing about and once turned down amazing superbowl seats cause.... i didn't care and dude called me up like an hour before the game so clearly i was the back-up 'impress you w/ my tickets but can you be ready now' call.

anyway, I'm particularly fond of Wimbledon. Probably because it's the slam that happens during summer, so school wasn't an issue, I'd get up so excited, all alone, at 6 am to watch breakfast at Wimbledon, (even though i loathe strawberries, the cream part always intriguied my childhood mind) Grass play with a chewed up baseline will always be my favorite.

oh, shockingly, I digressed...

In watching the Australian open this week and 2 secs of ice skating, I realize how much athletes and actors have in common...both jobs require you quell insane nerves/anxiety and conquer the mountain in real time, in one shot, maybe 2 if you're lucky.... oh, darn, I digress again...

because the point of ALL this is...

Athletes have these fucking amazing bodies of the gods!!! I admire that sooooo much.

i'd been harshing on mine lately cause I put on 5, ok, fine, 7lbs....I'd been annoyed at my body, even thought I know you gotta love it to change it, and nobody but me made me eat all those of cookies.

And... I'm aware it's totally wrong to think the body of an under developed tween girl is normal for a grown woman, despite it being the norm in LA. I'm just aiming for fit and healthy here.

I need to start eating better and exercise, which i haven't, because i'm lazy.....

My chest is insane for a girl my height; I'm like jessica simpson/ rabbit size. ~ i've never considered plastic surgery, though I secretly dream of a boob reduction. ~  I'm a bloody D right now, small C/B when thinny thin. Moms an A.. A minus actually.  what gives?

oh right, Dads german jewish genes that grow my boobs out and ass/hips wider... not at all shelf like.

So, to jump start and trick myself, I exercise areas of of my body that'll tone up quick, so I don't get discouraged..(until i had a trainer briefly) I'd no idea my arms had muscles, much less ones that respond pretty quickly to light weights...

And legs, this pic was taken today, having not worked out in a millenium. I attribute them to I dunno, genetics? being forced to join the track team and suck at it in high school? walking around NYC?

Also, I must thank the universe for giving this short girl proportionally longer arms and legs. you know that body equation where your foot is the same size as your elbow to your wrist... try it it's true! I used to want tiny tiny feet, till I realized tiny tiny tiny arms and legs would go with.

So i wonder...how is it possible my entire mid section has gone poof or puff? or invited a lot of friends to visit, is more apt.

The price of the arms and legs is, I have no real torso, like none... my true waist is super high, right under my chest and then there's a whole lotta hip action going on for a while... which again, I'ma have to give a shout out to my European ancestors, cause nada on the black side has this figure o' mine.

I'm capable of abs too... but i loathe doing 100 or more sit ups a day! i will though, as the core is vital to keep you standing upright and having it tight really does alleviate most back pain.

So, it's  back to the elliptical for cardio on a reg basis, squats bla blah blah..  sweet endorphins here i come, which can only be a good thing!

Every little teeny tiny or a lot a lot helps.

Every little bit helps when it comes to thinking of others...

whether you give 5 bucks, 500, 5000, blankets & socks, prayers,... it's the spirit that it's given in that matters most.

Also let us not forget that right here on the home front there's fellow human need.

 I know most Americans are strapped right now, so it doesn't need to be cash when you give... maybe you have a violin you never play a kid in band could use, an old computer to donate, a beater car the kids in shop would love to tear apart or time to give to your favorite organization... any and all would be appreciated I'm sure. xx Rachel.

face book Q&A blog! (better late than... yknow the rest...

 Now I kinda get why wax tiger ignored the mocha.

 So... Happy new Decade!
(yes btw i know were using a roman calander w/arabic numerals so no need to remind me it's not really 2010.)
 many of you asked hey, watcha up to?.. i've done some film work that's in the can, but i don't know when it's out so i've been focused on writing, personal growth, and stepping back to enjoy the life I've carved out and what i'd like to accomplish next, navigating & plotting the next course... 'w/ miles to go before i sleep'...

Here goes... sorry if my answers bore you to tears... squish squish darling.

 Richie Wright Phillips

hey !!!!!!!! rachelle true ?????? what's Goin On ??? richie Your LOvely Fan ??? in french Of paris My valable associate

um.. yes? not much.... er, OK.. merci?

Katherine Raymond

if you had your choice of what u would come back as after you leave this earth, what would it be?

i think i'd like to not come back...travel the stars as energy to new universes... but, if you mean like animal/min/veg.... 
i'm gonna have to go w/ horse.. my cousin owns a barn & riding school, i still have a horse shoe she gave me when i was like 8...

veg- er... um... spinach... covered in cheese. 
mineral- er... fuck.. um.. ok.. ruby? rose quartz... diamonds are sparkly..malachite, tough to, greens not me color... um something sparkly & blue today.
lol, kathy!

Nancy Archer

How do you manage the need for exposure vs. vulnerability?

hmmn..I've learned a lot visa vi this issue as of late. i embrace and fear the Orwellian themes of the current internet.... tho i enjoy it's global community vibe.
i was described as being 'aloof' online... I don't see that,but maybe it's because i don't comment on others pages a lot. it's easier and more time efficient check my page, honestly...i have a net presence w. boundaries, which means essentially i will block a mo fo, in a heartbeat, in more ways than one.
i've never understood why people get upset when they don't get attention on web from essentially strangers. to me, the FB, twitter is all like frosh year at NYU, minus the dying of the hair to announce I'm someone new & special DAMMIT.

Lisa Renee

hey Rachel! my 12 yr old son, who luvs u, doesn't believe that it's actually u responding & posting on FB. Could u hit my inbox & let him know it's actually u? He's watching his video of The Craft...lol!

i don't actually send emails out via FB or myspace. i have tons of silly vids proofing it's me, show them to him! rachelthetrue is my youtube channel name. or show him this and tell him i said 's'up... hows school going? my fav subjects in school were English.'

Timmy Gleason

"Nowhere" was a thing of beauty!! Any plans to work with Greg Araki again?

I LOVE GREGG!!! i really hope to in the future!!!

Asani Turner

Do you have or foresee any independent projects that you would like to produce/act in on your own? Are you interested in producing your own works outside of acting? (Not sure if you have or not) Thanks!

i"m more of a writer and director than producer type... indie climate and Hollywood is going through an interesting phase right now, I hope to have a script I've written, (whether i act in it or not) seen to fruition. sooner than later. i do love living in this time of tech revolution.... making a film is easier than 10 yrs ago... getting it seen another matter.

Dennis Martin

What do you want for Christmas?

(late i know) i want for very little, i desire so very much...but on the important tip, health care, getting outta war, school arts & gym classes restored...... tha't'd be spectacular.

Brent Miller

Have you ever considered directing?

yes, working on my multi tasking.

Ray Nerd

What's the most thought provoking question you've ever been asked?

i don't remember really... i like uncovering things about others...

Jai Powell

How do you differentiate between someone that is interested in "Rachael the actress" as opposed to "Rachael the person" who just happens to be an actress?

trial & error before... now intuition is pretty accurate in that dept.

Denene Brox

What is your screenplay about and how long have you been writing?

i ca't give the plots away.. one is a coming of age piece.. another a study of characters.. I've always written, i've 'poems' from when i was 4-5...

Sean Croce

How was your day? :)

dramatic!

Rebecca Orlosky-Pecorino

What number am I thinking of right now?

sticking w/ 3, dammit.

Susan Utley Goodman What's it like to be famous and having the advantages that most will never have in their life like traveling, walking with lions, knowing and hanging out w/famous ppl? And if u were not an actor where do u think ur path in life would have lead u?

as a kid I daydream beamed myself into faerie tales, used to circle islands in the NY times real estate section at 5 yrs old, always had wanderlust... so i guess... a lot of the things i've been lucky to experience, are there for anyone... if that's what you desire. You can walk w/ lions too! i'm just a girl, who had ideas and drive...
oh, and let's be real... i'm not famous, i know people who are though, it's a part of working as an actor, so it's not extraordinary in the sense you'd think.. you'd be surprised that so & so and I play cards, or board games... or watched point break in Kuai before attempting to surf... or (insert anything mundane & normal...)

Robin Alexander

HI RACH, ITS YOUR COUSIN ROBIN, HAPPY HOLIDAYS! UNCLE DICKIE DIDNT HAVE THE REUNION THIS YEAR, THATS HOW I USUALLY KEEP UP WITH EVERYBODY. I DID GET TO SEE DAWN AND AUNT CHRIS LAST YEAR. ANYWAY HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON....

hi cousin Robin! did you know typing in all caps is called the 'Kanye shout?' hope to see you guys soon too! I haven't seen Dawn in years!

Anika Hutchinson

Is being biracial in Hollywood or in life any different than being monoracial black?

i don't know, i do know when i walk in a casting i'm 'black', not mixed...etc.

btw, i think of us as one race, human.. with ethnic variances...

George Gund

Do you have any idea how good your smile makes me feel?

; )

Patrick Mackin

Of the TV & movies that you've done, which ones are your favorites and why? What about your least favorites and why?

i loved working on Half & Half because it was 5 years of my life... to create a character over years... is a luxury. i love diff projects for diff reasons... i met Neve on the craft.. and the director Andy Fleming had been at NYU when i was a freshman so i spent the whole movie dodging any pals of his who might blow my 'teen witch' cover... and Gregg Araki, and Chris Rock and Dave Chapelle & shooting in Africa.. oh.. i can't pick.

Shannon North

What was it like working along side with Telma Hopskins who played your mom phyllis on Half&Half?

I love Ms Telma!!!! she's a scorpio and sooo fun and wise and generous......

Anika Hutchinson Another suggestion- out of the characters of Half & Half, which one is more like Dee Dee and Mona in real life?

that's pretty self evident by the casting!

Beau Prometheus Clemmons

The Craft is one of my favorite movies. Did you enjoy acting in it and would you do another horror/occult movie like it in the future? Do you share any of the Wiccan religious views espoused in the Craft?

i had a blast doing that movie... we had a pagan consultant, it was great to learn that it's mostly an earth based respect nature attitude.... the craft was just a movie...so no, i don't share it's 'occult' views... but i respect pagans as those beliefs are ancient... and i do tarot cards.... but that's more like a 'shrink in a box' than a fortune teller, when you get into it...

Rosalyn Campfield

Hello. not sure of you checked the blog idea I put on your other page's wall post-- but what is a few things that you would take back and do differently? Also, what are common mis perceptions of you- and how are you really? :)

i have learned from the highs and lows.. so i wouldn't change things.... i trust in the universe that things have and will work out the way they should....

i don't know what misconceptions there might be... i only know me ; )

& how am i? groovy.

Rosalyn Campfield

another question: what are your favorite and least favorite attributes about yourself and why? :)

i like that i'm clever, if i do say so myself.... ; ) smarts & wit was prized in my family..

um, I'd like to be less anxious as a person... i've had sleep issues my whole life, I'm working on that!

Warren C. Jenkins

LoL @ Tory. Hell naw she aint gonna answer all these questions.

what's your damage, heather?

Erick Smith

are u still cool with the cast of half and half?

much like a real family we don't see each other all the time anymore, but we love catching up! amazing group of people. Alec Mapa & i torture each other on twitter....

Susan Utley Goodman

If she says she's going to answer, then she will.

word.

Keon Tyrell Jenkins

hi rachel. what was it like working with marquita terry on the big i have a dream episode of half and half. she mistook your character for being gay and made a pass at you lol.

i don't remember that ep at all....lol, it happens... i rem the big 'something' episode w/ tamyra grey, whose character made a pass at mona, maybe you mean that one?

Derwin Augustus

any chance for a half and half reunion?or if they going to bring it back on tv?

i doubt it... it's in syndication though...

Theresa Simpson

I love your hair. What products do you use in it?

i did a blog called 'my not very helpful hair blog' some where on here.... I love Aubrey organics gpb conditioner.

Amy Blackthorn

Blessed Yule. How do you enjoy the Holidays? Family? Friends? Travel?  In our family have Yule with friends, and Christmas with Immediate Family and day after with extended family.

i don't come from a huge family, you're holidays sound lovely!!

Bill Morehouse

I remember you replacing Jane Johanson in a certain musical group and you borrowing a small amp for home practice from me. little blast from the past! here's someone you'll appreciate if you get my clue....look up Tal Wilkinfeld on myspace! She's touring with legendary guitarist Jeff Beck. Man can she play! How's mom and dad and your bro Aaron doing?

A Fender precision starburst bass!!!!!!! Pops is gone, mums down south, sis has a gorgeous baby, Aarons fine... all is good! hope you are as well! and not freezing...

Rick Melvin

Since you played bass guitar, who would you like to jam with given the opportunity and what music inspires you?

i've very eclectic tastes... and haven't played in so long i couldn't jam! i wish i stuck w/ cello.. i love Bachs solo cello works, it's music for the soul.

Michelle Richardson hey rachel, are you into doing arts and crafts of any sort? i've tried painting, it's cool, but i love making jewelry. ooh, got another one...what's your favorite number and color? (ok, two lol)

i love making collages and i dig photography very very much... though i want a better bigger faster digital camera!

the other question depends on the day... or the mood.

Attica Georges

I love the photos of your apartment, they remind me of Mona's apartment. Is there anywhere online where I can see photo's of the set of Mona's apartment? I'm looking for design inspiration and I love its vibe.

i don't know re pics monas apt, google i guess.. i know they shopped at many indian and indonesian furniture spots... my dad collected antiques, so i like a mix of old, very old, and new.

Michael Celentano

What, if anything, do you feel has kept you from reaching your full potential careerwise, and lifewise?

forgetting the abundance of the universe and the human ability to create what we desire...

Bill McConnell

"If you call an orange an orange, why wouldn't you call a banana a yellow, or an apple a red?"
- Rev. Jim Ignatowski

 excellent point, made by TV... Taxi, McC, Taxi.

David Jerome

Half and Half is one of my favorite shows. While I did watdh it when it was on the air, I am even more into it in reruns. I enjoy seing all of the attractive black actresses! How did the actors get along off camera? Did you and Essence Atkins hang out?

thank you we got along great... again like any real family you have squabbles over silly things.. but we were all aware that being able to be on a telly show, not to mention black and on TV w/o having to shuck, nobody telling me to sass it up.... was a gift and joy to behold.
  
Kareem Braxton I want to Act.....how did u get into acting?
find a class... see if you like it and have fun doing it, is my 1st step of advice... i took classes.. did free plays/ a theatre internship, performed at Williamstown Theatre festival all before moving to LA and focusing on movies...... it's not always the glamorous flossy life, so, you'd better really be consumed by the need to create a career, despite the lack of security inherent in the job. You must LOVE it, otherwise... it will grind you down. i love it. all of it. it's all i know. show folk are a breed, like circus folk. it's def not just about looking pretty. go model then.

ps- just received lovely email from an old European friend...alls i can say is-American boys, step your game up!

meme's & you you's

@Rachel True sty town to thompkins sq pk library, cobblestones beneath, icey blue above, endless possibilities ahead. saturday mems of yore. 

posted that on fb & twitter i think, nothing deep, just an old memory that expanded would have read something verbose like... "oh neat, I'm remembering walking from sty town alone, along cobblestones and snow to thomkins sq park library etc bla bla bla".. it was just a flickery flash memory... {flash mob meme of the mind?}

~those cobblestones made me happy as a little kid in NYC, paved over but tenaciously enduring, I could relate to them. (but then again, i thought round subway girder bolts were dinosaur eggs)... oh & that beautiful church at 2nd & 10, where Coopers buried & surrounding courtyards between buildings on E. 11th..&~ 

ANYWAY... some person i don't know, comments on FB.. 

them-you  can do better, and come back dowm to earth... etc

so i'm confused, because it's my memory and all so i comment something snarky like-wow, thanks you really understand me.

them-Without critics to keep us grounded, we are nothing but floating space bunnies.

i write- 'if you're looking for grounded this may not be the page for you.' i mean, that's the truth right, i like silly riddles and um, it's the net and all so why are you critiquing me?! it seems bad form. i don't go round to random strangers pages ripping their status. why? because i don't care.and if i care, i doubt i'm dumping on person. i'm cracking a joke or saying hi.

them-maybe so, but it might help you out to return back to earth every now and then. Just look at what happened to Tila Tequila. Shes out there lingering in the alpha centauri system and showing no signs of coming home. besides, u can do much better.

now I'm really confused.. do better what, smuck?... have better childhood memories? who are you anyway? oh wait... i don't care. so finally i end it all with... the very grown up wording-

-read you latest status re 'whores'.... my parents say we can't be friends anymore. buh bye.  

person tried to re friend me w/ message that i needed expletive expletive, & was too sensitive. no- i just didn't give a shit...like seriously, not my vibe. so why have that energy around me, yknow.

why write post on silly banal negativity, at all?

one more push to get others to dig you don't have to agree w/ others, think the same, (my, that'd be boring!) but...this above exchange.... is a prime example of how not to introduce yourself to a stranger in real life, or on web.

pretty standard move of 'put a person down in attempt to get attention'. that gets you blocked, you're not in grade school nor am I your mama.

when you follow & tweet only me whether nice or mean.. red flag. make some more friends, you'll like it, twitters like soooooooo much more fun that way. plus, i'm rather dull, you'll find.

when you comment on something you don't understand, before sharing thoughts that 'I must be' -xy i could give  shit- might i recommend Google. it's this really neato website, and comes in super handy. 

we don't all get along w/ in life or the web. being 'friends' & 'connected' etc is not an invitation to be rude... or to actually hang out.

i've commented etc people to no response ever... or maybe they have responded, but when they don't..... it's not personal towards me, BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW THEM, are you seeing what i'm getting at? AT ALL, LIKE EVEN A LITTLE?

i end with saying- THERE ARE SO MANY SUPER COOL PEOPLE WHO LEAVE GREAT THOUGHT PROVOKING COMMENTS, THANK YOU FOR THE COOLNESS!!!
down w/ the negativity. 

Happy Holidays! True.

this i can say...

having delusional stranger fixate on you, email your blog w/ lewd content, & physically follow you- could happen to ANYONE, & it’s criminal.

my point-its an amazing beautiful life, you just have to keep your eyes open along the way. being a little kid in NYC trained me well.

shout out to the police officers and detectives who help keep us all safe.

Hey December...

these are the moments of Scorpio Phoenix silence...

hope you all are well, safe and sound. xx True

thanksgiving w/ every flavor. shot by my bro in law w/ his fab camera i covet.

thanksgiving from Rob King on Vimeo.

found this picture on web... awww, i loved that tiny apt by the sea.. it served me well!

somebody needs to get her winter hair colour on...

 epitome of, hmmm....

what to do w/ ones hair,

when it's curly yet not curly,

and highlights are meandering

into that shade o' blonde.

happy birthday to me.

in those big birthday books everybody has, mine has 2 meanings..

the the day of the Encounter, and the day of Grace.

i look forward to many more graceful yummy encounters  ♥✰✈... and i'm thankful for the gorgeous ones i've already experienced... and the awkward graceless moments, i learn and grow from every single time.

when i was a girl...i was taught to be realistic, but i spent all my time imagining, dreaming anything possible... ;  )

to pair or not to pair?

my friend snapped this...i see me, shy, dazed, & confused that the world keeps going by... (this is not smizing, as tyra would say)  girly woman me as always,  but it's like there's this view i'm missing... and it's right there in front of me...

Anyway today my twitter question was-

never married, because i never wanted to divorce. are we meant to be together a lifetime? i don't know, so i'll just be here now.
i got differing responses, mostly not regarding my query, but rather focused on marriage & projection.

@aliyasking wrote-  RT @racheltrue never married, because i never want to divorce. [so don't audition bcuz you might not get the part? Or show might not last?]

 my reply to her-
@aliyasking you assume too much. i didn't say i don't love... i simply questioned life long marriage.

to question the institution of marriage, (a luxury everyone should have, regardless of orientation) isn't a denial of love. the two aren't mutually exclusive. i love ♥, marriage=tax break to me though, & so many different things to different people.

SO, do you think people are meant to pair up for life?
have you experienced truly happy couples of 10 or more years? are your parents still 'happily' married?
i know a few couples like that, as well as a few i don't socialize with anymore because the lack of having each others back was palpable.
i do think some are meant to find each other and take the journey together.. I'm a romantic American girl raised on promises and the Red, Blue and Violet fairy books... 
and i also believe some souls meetings are meant to be brief encounters... with lasting finger prints.

all hallows eve...rocking on w/ my Nov Scorpio self.

"You're a Scorpio Water Faery"
adorable undrunk boy said. "See me when you're grown" I said with a goodbye cheek kiss. him sweetly laughing, calling, "c'mon, let me give you my num... email...?" as I walked away.(i trust if we are meant to met up someday we will, and that's a bet)
how bloody great is that for any gal, btw nice to feel 'seen,' probably cause I was relaxed, and 'appreciated', probably cause i was 'mellow' me, not wound me. 
The reflection for me is-
A. how like totally fun it is to be flirty! (i know, duh) and um,
B. could learn to conquer nerves and finesse it when the stakes higher. When it's fairly innocent or 'practice flirting' I am, or can be..... lovely, smart, quick,concise, witty, (swear to god, you should see me, i'm very good at a party...) 
So the goal is to become... more and more comfortable in my own skin. May require a chrysalis mayhaps built for 2, or  simplyhanging upside down for a while in Dagoba swamps, to emerge a more present lady when the boy is an interesting/ interested present man. i see the work i can/have do on myself... and know it will take patience with myself & in the end probably a very specific kooky smooky cool dude who'll desire to share himself and delight in discovering layers of the true and truth.

for the ♥ of love ♥

"i feel stupid, and contagious"...sums up dating.
i think it's the same way i felt at this age-----------> (look at that hair & same suspicious look!?)

i admit, I love... love.... not just it's first flush, or the subsequent heart felt flutters, or the lusty luxurious days spent exploring....,but all of it. the digging in and learning/growing, because you want to, because the person means that much, you trust you'll be safe. a great fabulous payoff is sex gets exponentially more intense the deeper you go with each other.

but quite often... i talk too much to cover my nerves with new people, which only serves to hide my intelligence.... i pick up on energy and unwittingly bring up the very thing they're sure they've hidden from sight. mostly, the dudes aren't listening anyway, and if they are they are, i'd love a dollar for every time one says " i don't want to talk, or  have intimate conversation... i just wanted to blow off some steam with you" ...or in other words, 'be the image i have of you.. silent, frozen, lips slightly parted, w/ a manufactured look of desire... y'know, like your pictures, or movies...' 
how do i end up in these situations.. is the real question for myself... and for you-

i will let you down... if that's all you seek from me.

 go blow & fuck yourself average dude.  xx True

p.s. addendendum  
left this blog on the note that the question for me, is of course, what or why do i attract these dudes. that's for me to figure out, not you. i have a lovely collection of ex's btw... brilliant & talented all of them, (except the one w/the 8 pack.. but he had other attributes..)i have much respect for them all, despite their being ex's.
blog isn't a whine as much as.. the actuality of dating the usual suspects of L.A..
and let me not leave out that, just as certain men aren't for me, i've had an equal amount of men i've adored for one reason or another be, um... just not that into me. and that's life.
el fin.

totally needed this in college.... (via.. @dreamhampton) reblog from Paulo Coelho's

I am not in the state below currently (thank Allah)... but i have been plenty, So, when saw this I thought what a great reminder that despite loves delight to wound, and see us bleed, it is also exquisite, joyous, yummy and oh sooooooo worth it. ♥ 

reblogged from Paulo Coelho’s Blog

reblogged from Paulo Coelho’s Blog

Speaking of (not my) kids...

rest assured if i watch your kid, i will absolutely put kid in laundry basket o'fun at some point. 

Lastly one of my curls fell across his face & you get Baby Rabbi or Rabbi Baby if we're following  muppet babies lore...

kids look like the neatest thing I've yet to do... or possibly won't do.

      I've done super neato stuff like this..

and other stuff, like making movies on location, travels with friends and lovers around the globe (totally awesome!)

but...

 kids look like the neatest thing I've yet to do... or possibly won't do.

I'm not sure I've even played a mom, then my sister goes has a real live toy baby. Thoughts of my own indifference/ desire for children.. i've always wanted them, figured i'd have one... i just never really thought much about when etc. I trace back to childhood, (living in a podunk white Town, technically a Village) the message via the media & my own parents was- 'black girls get pregnant just looking at dudes...bla bla blabla bla  bla'. that mythical over sexualized image of 'black girl' as whore continued on through college... always weird to meet a college age kid who believes jews have tails and every brown girl owes him a blow job. it all left small scabby scars, that years later, I'd open up, make peace, rub bio-oil on, and be content that I don't tend to keloid. 
 

 I totally look forward to (possibly) having a kid,and whatever encounters/ adventures the futures yet to proffer..  being here now, present in this moment is enough.

 being here, right now, is gorgeous.

i learn a lot hanging with my friends & their baby loves, kids will lay some amazingly deep shit on you if you listen, some of my best teachers have been under 10

side bar- Alec Mapa and his husband J. are in the process of adopting a child, he invited me to his 'child care' classes, which i declined. I've strong suspicion he invited me in case they get a black baby and need hair help.

my sis and 8 month old True, who looks just like our dad did in baby pictures.

there's just no denying being a mother looks sublime.

sculpting, nurturing  little minds looks more challenging than walking a lion.

anyone can put their own life in their 'own hands', driving, walking about town, or walking beasts...but can you put someone elses new life in your hands...i mean, that kid is not moving out anytime soon!

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PS- Side bar-these were some of my minds rules as a kid, bless my twisted heart

• never eat watermelon in public
• never eat watermelon and chicken together in public
  
•  never get stuck carrying what was called the 'ghetto blaster'
• remind that one teacher to not call me Racial, goddammit.
  
• become invisible despite/because i looked different
• read lot's of books to deflect from reality of an upstate NY winter  
• be self depricating when scoring highest on tests or suffer the white wrath.
• never call attention to self.
• see above, except while on the bass guitar in 'jazz' band; go wild w/ you fender precision bass playing self, (ps. future you says what's up w/ the headbands girl!)
• never ever wear bangs again (oy, baby rachel)
• beinvisible -became one word for me.

I too, read books with my awesome breasts, Meghan McCain!

So everyones blogged about Meghan McCain flashing her um...ta-ta's,

or cleavage in a pic on twitter, proving she's just like the rest of us... fallible, full busted and not above a tipsy twit pic.... i would have loved if this pic was ironic, though i think the way you see it, is, as she intended. You, go you republican gal. (ps. if that's moneyed hair, tighten that shit up girl, get ya roots done, and might i recommend a good deep conditioner...)
kidding aside, I think she's very smart clever & witty. She's done a NOH8 picture already, and I see a bright future in (sigh) republican politics for her. when making the talk show rounds she certainly proved she has brains to match her um.. er... twins.

my friend, bestselling author Erica Kennedy has new book out, Feminista, that you all should check out, it's gotten great reviews everywhere and reading is fundamental!

so....I thought i'd McCain it for her, tongue firmly in cheek, chest at the ready. left it in color cause that's how i roll.

why mccain it? absolutely no reason at all... we just like making 'mccaining it' a verb.

i totally know how to flip the image so you could read the books title, but i wanted to 'full on mccain it' because you deserve that. you're welcome. and yes, clearly, i as well could use a 'deep condition', and to 'get me roots done'.

what's interesting to me is... i couldn't nail the smuggy smirky!  I'm an actor, for smirks sake! it's a 'to the manor born' look- OR a 'had a few to many drinkys'- OR it's 'being 20 ish',- Or it's the 'pinched smile of a republican'... that i couldn't quite duplicate.. sigh. oh well, i'll survive.

below is the link for Erica Kennedys website, she's also the author of NY times best seller Bling. her blog is chock full of fun stuff, you must check it out!

 shes on twitter at @feminista09

http://thefeministafiles.blogspot.com/

ps-i get the whole look at me breasts angle, when you haven't had children, they are still toys to boys and for me, the things that keeps me out of shirts I'd really like to wear.. they've served me well though thus far. once at a breast biopsy, i said to the doc- "hey don't leave a big scar, i push these puppies up and make a lot of money on TV with them". (get your exams ladies!!!!!)

Who would i be to judge another clever cleavagey girl, with the caveat of, I probably WON'T be running for president one day... she kinda might run, and may wanna lay off too many of these pics. I'm an actor, nobody cares if i pull out the guns. ;- }

p.p.s- oh yes... musicians, authors send your cds/books and i'll mccain them for you too!

my top five words tweeted: love, know, think, good, people... (trips of the tongue)

1st actually @alecmapa ass away baby bad @basseyworld believe best better big black blog book btw called @calperniaaddams cause check @chrismacden @coffeebreakdmv come cool crazy cuz day did didnt does doesnt doing dream @dreamhampton dude @elonjames fb feel feeling friend friends fun funny getting girl going gonna good great guess @guttabutta ha hair happy hate head hear hes hey hope house ich @jeremymeyers kid kids kinda know la lady @laurajsilverman let life little live lol look looks love lovely make man maybe mean meant @mikedoughtyyeah mind moon movie need new nice night oh ok old @patrikianpolk people pic pics play poo pretty prob @profblmkelley ps @questlove rachel read real really right rt said say saying self shes sigh sleep song stop stuff sure tell thank thanks thanx thats theres @thesarahbiz thing things think tho thought time times today totally true try tv tweet tweets twitpic twitter um use wait wanna want watch way weird whats white wish word work wow wrong yeah yes youre ♥